What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

Your mom.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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