They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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