How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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Needless to say,

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Black People.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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