How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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24

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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You're Adopted.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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