I saw a shovel once.

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

Error 37.

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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