If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A walrus walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do u call a black person by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops