Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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