Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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69

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Derpy Hooves is retarded.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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