knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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Ms. Smoot's class

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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