what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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