What abou three times

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

96

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops