what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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YOU

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops