What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops