Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Roses are flowers.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Your Mom The End.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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