There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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how do you win a game try your best

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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