why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops