What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops