Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a irish man walks past a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -28

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

69

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops