Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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