Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops