Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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