How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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