Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops