It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops