Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

What? Huh?

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

25

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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