why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Knock knock

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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