Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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