Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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