how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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women's rights

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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