A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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