Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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