What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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