What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Women's rights.

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=3

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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