An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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