What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops