What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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autsim

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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School

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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