This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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