Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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