What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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