Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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