Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops