Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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4

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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