Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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Gay Rights

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Okay, one second.

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GADZOOKS!

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Get off my porch.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops