Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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these are shit

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A man walks into a bar.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops