what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

hickory dickory dock no one cares

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

I like colin but not as much as apple

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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