The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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My parents died!

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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