Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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