(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What'sucks and white Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's brown and sticky? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops