what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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