how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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woman's lacrosse

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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