Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Cliterus

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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read me write me

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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